BUFFALO 14

it’s difficult to define my times of solitude from those of loneliness. i want and want want want and then the guilt seeps in from Sister Anne. i see her in her habit, making my habits feel sinful, soul searing, yet, she still supported something productive and insidious in me when she guaranteed a greater love than a strangers’. where can you get that but a woman that takes vows, or shaman in the field staying overnight to make sure the bison don’t make it into Montana, where they are slaughtered. there is laughter in sally field’s performance flying. i’m not talking to you about this tonight or before you leave. there is humor in rulers hitting desks and the fear of god that kept me from getting up to use the bathroom. you wouldn’t want to hear it. i see my first crush in a train station parking lot and he kisses me on the cheek. it’s been weeks since anyone has touched my arm. i just want to hear “yes” once.