honestly, i know i need appeasing. the weather holds as i wish it were holding. no bags or pockets. no memories. rumors that are completely unsubstantiated. i am meeting myself half way, as i often do, this time of year. the humidity is a warm unwelcome hug. the sun’s annoying half kiss on the cheek is more painfully sweet then when i can’t decipher a kiss on the head from a chin resting there.
i would have taken loveology. i stretch my body like a bridge. i stretch my limbs out in dirt, i grow hooves, in the grooves of where my fingers are disappearing. tumors that are completely unsubstantiated. tudor homes viewable from the sprain brook parkway cutting through forest, or a forest cutting through usable road. a path once created by herds that actually existed.
it is an odd feeling when people who knew you since you were born barely recognize you after a few missing years. “you’d like my friend” i say, “for some reason i needed to mention it.” although some reason isn’t as exact as every reason. it’s like people can know what i mean if they are from the same state. i’ve surrendered that part of me that hasn’t a reason. i’ve blamed the plains indians too long for my platelet lain hands. i have taken the study of: i want.